Why do so many people hate their jobs?

Updated Jun 8

It depends on the person and the job, and can range from very general to very specific.

Some people set a sort of baseline when they are children.

Maybe they grew up in a fairly comfortable environment, without perceiving overt financial stress. They may have perceived that their father just sort of disappeared for hours every day, and a middle-class standard of living just magically appeared. They may assume that the breadwinning parent goes to a nice, friendly, low-stress environment, to hang out and socialise with coworkers all day, and receives a nice big paycheque for dong so. They may assume that an employed person simply shows up to a job because s/he feels like it, when s/he feels like it, and expends whatever level of effort s/he feels like. Many children are absolutely coddled and shielded from adversity, stress, hurt feelings, etc, and grow up assuming that working adults are also coddled.

The child enjoys the comfortable standard of living, without having to work at a job, and may perceive everything as being “free”, and automatically provided without having to be earned. By the time they reach legal adulthood, many of them have developed massive senses of entitlement.

Then, all of a sudden, they are expected to get a job. This may involve putting forth more effort than ever before, dealing with more demands, dealing with people who aren’t their friends or family, and who aren’t going to coddle them. They may feel offended by the idea that, an employer isn’t some kind of substitute parent, with an obligation to hand over money simply because the entitled person needs some. They may feel frightened by the threat that they need to either get their work done, and act civilised, or they may be fired by a boss who doesn’t care if they end up homeless. Or they may completely fail to recognise this risk.

And, on top of that, they may experience a lowering of their material standard of living. Such as going from a nice house to a small apartment. They may have had zero concept of how hard their parent(s) had to work to provide the comfortable childhood.

A female-biased issue is the social message that, adult women are entitled to a breadwinning husband or boyfriend. Many girls grow up with a non-employed housewife mother as their primary adult role model. If they grow up and can’t find a spouse/partner to support them, they feel victimised, like society broke its promise to them. This is one aspect of the general attitude that, everybody else is accountable to the hurt feelings of the self-centred little princess, and that, those feelings are evidence of actual victimisation.

In contrast, most boys are raised with the message that, employment will be required of them (for self-support, and as a condition of receiving attention from women) and that nobody cares about their feelings on the matter. This is actually a major source of men’s advantaged position, because it pressures them to act like responsible adults, take care of themselves, and to avoid leeching off of others. It also pressures them to avoid whining or expecting sympathy about it.

Another issue can be ignorance, and denials of the connection between behaviour and outcomes. I have actually encountered grown women who believed that, all jobs pay exactly minimum wage, for (at most) forty hours per week, and that, a job is only viable if it is something that the laziest, least-skilled person could do. This feeds a sense of helplessness.

Many people have a coercion mentality, and will only put forth the absolute minimum effort needed to have housing, food, and a television to watch. Thus, they feel that, the time and effort spent at a job is something that they are being coerced into with threats to their survival, and to the necessities which they feel entitled to receive for free.

Some people have massive competition issues, and may feel enraged at the thought that someone else earns more money, or has better working conditions, or higher status. This relates to feeling victimised by their own situation.

Another female-biased issue is about hours. If you tell a man that you work more than forty hours per week, and/or that you are paid on productivity, they are likely to accept it, due to socialisation to prioritise work in their own lives. In contrast, I have encountered women who treated me like I was doing something horrifically dysfunctional and even evil, by working long hours, and/or having productivity-based earnings. These individuals acted victimised and enraged by my work schedule and/or payment structure. It was like I was “raising the bar” for adult responsibility, and winning some kind of competition for who earns more money. Some got offended at the idea that, I might use skills/knowledge/aptitude that they lacked. Some women’s aversion to work is so severe as to feel personally victimised by somebody else’s job.

Yet another job-hating point relates to coworkers. Somebody might feel envy, and engage in tall-poppy syndrome. This can include resentment on, “How dare that university student have the prospect of escaping this job after graduation”, to asking intrusive questions on your personal life, and feeling offended if it is different to theirs (e.g. if you are single and childfree, while they have unplanned kids consuming much of their paycheque).

There is also, of course, the aggravation of coworkers gossiping about your personal life. Along with the cliquishness.

Some people have a compulsion to establish that, everyone around them is incompetent. I once had a coworker who ran her mouth constantly, LOUDLY, about how stupid practically everyone else was, over incredibly petty things, to the point of distracting us, and herself, from getting work done. She hated the job, and frequently stated the need and intention to move on to something better, but is likely still right there, spewing the same negativity, and inspiring other people to hate the job due to her behaviour.

On the other side, constantly bullying coworkers (and/or supervisors) are a very legitimate reason for hating one’s job. I have experienced coworker bullying in front of elderly clients, and had an environment where the bullying increased physical safety hazards to those clients and to the staff.

One coworker may hold an incredibly petty but openly seething grudge against another coworker, which toxifies the atmosphere for other people who aren’t even the target of the grudge.

Some people love to complain to supervisors, about a coworker that they don’t like, up to the point of lying to try to cause the target to be disciplined or fired.

Some people like to slack off (unscheduled cigarette breaks, standing around socialising, etc), and leave you to do all the work.

Some coworkers are thieves, down to stealing your lunch (including the box) out of the break room. And, if you leave another lunch in there tomorrow, they will steal that one, too (including the box).

Some coworkers (and customers) have incredibly poor communication skills, and will blame you for the resulting difficulty. This is not necessarily involving immigrants with language issues.

Other interpersonal negativity can involve a coworker who brings their personal problems into the workplace. It could be someone who is fuming and directing contempt towards you, and then you overhear her on the phone, regarding the argument she had with her husband this morning. Or somebody carrying on and on about their children. I once dealt with someone who ranted non-stop about her divorce, for almost the entirety of every shift, and had been doing so for over a year.

At one job, it was known that, a certain area of the building was infected with racial/ethnic resentment, directed against european/caucasian/white people, to the point of refusing to engage appropriate teamwork.

Some people think that their particular job is beneath them. This includes people trapped in low-level jobs due to poor attitude, lack of effort, lack of skills, and/or lack of interpersonal civility.

I would expect that, there are people whose job-hatred includes the fact that they may be required to suppress compulsive electronic behaviours, such as playing with their telephone, or scrolling through FaceBook, playing video games, or watching pornography.

Many jobs actually do have poor physical and interpersonal conditions. I have had jobs with disgusting tasks, physical demands (and attendant risks), noise, hazardous equipment and substances, outdoor environments, etc. One job featured many close encounters with drug addicts and other desperate criminals, with a high risk of assault (including homicide) and armed robbery. Emphasised by actually experiencing an armed robbery.

Working with the public, and also some business-to-business situations, will expose you to a constant stream of obnoxious, irrational, inappropriate, demanding, complaining, time-wasting, bigoted, harassing, moronic people. Many enjoy bullying workers, and the power dynamic. If you speak with a foreign accent (no matter how clear or easy to understand), get ready to have strangers interrogate you about it every five minutes, with some even getting openly angry (interestingly, yet another strongly female-biased pattern, based on interpersonal competition and tall-poppy syndrome).

Jobs involving vulnerable people (children, elderly, disabled) may include the risk of being falsely accused of predatory, criminal behaviour. Even an accusation, appearance, or suspicion is extremely dangerous. This risk can be stressful, no matter how innocent you are.

I have witnessed people working in adult education (e.g. lower-tier polytechnics and community colleges), who had to tolerate incredibly obnoxious student behaviours (including stunning levels of classroom disruption), while being pressured by management to maintain a certain percentage of passing grades, to the point of zero academic integrity. I’ve also read some real horror stories about teaching primary and secondary school.

Bosses, supervisors, coworkers, and/or customers may subject you to sexual harassment. Or may take an incessant attitude that, certain jobs are only done by men, or are only done by women, and that you are breaking some kind of rules if you disobey this restriction. If you are a woman who dresses modestly and simply, you may be harassed for that, and, in some situations, run afoul of openly sexist dress codes.

Some bosses and managers are chronically abusive and/or incompetent in a range of ways.

Many jobs actually do pay very poorly for the level of time and effort involved. I once had a boss who openly sat down with me, and asked questions to the effect of, how little he could pay me, and I would still just barely afford food and shelter, while doing exhausting physical labour.

Some workplaces are extremely disorganised. This can also relate to poor orientation procedures, mass poor communication, scheduling glitches, etc.

I once had an employer who played games with taxes, including falsely categorising employees as independent contractors, leading to problems with the taxation authorities, including unexpected debts. The two owners were generally engaged in other forms of fraud, as well. There were also repeated, incompetence-based instances of paycheques bouncing. Add on sexism and possibly illegal/discriminatory firing.

Some jobs are casual-scheduled, without any set number of hours per week, and situations like being awoken by the telephone and, “Somebody called in sick. Can you be here in 20 minutes? We will be short-staffed if you don’t”. You can refuse, or might not be reachable, but this will quickly result in them ceasing to offer any work at all (without officially firing you). Some will also set rules prohibiting you from getting a second job.

Many people fear any sort of change, and that fear helps to trap them into situations (jobs, locations, relationships, etc) in which they feel miserable. Some claim to have an attitude that, the “right” (mature, responsible, stable, common-sense) path is to just get the first low-skill, low-wage job that comes along, and accept staying there for one’s entire working life. Some will denigrate you if you have ever voluntarily resigned from a job (calling you an immature, irresponsible, unstable moron deadbeat), even if you had immediately walked into a much better-paying job with better conditions. Or if you resigned to relocate to a more prosperous geographic area, with better job prospects. Or if you resigned in order to devote your time to higher education, with the goal getting a better job. They will denigrate you, but it’s really about envy, projecting competition, and their own fear and refusal to take responsibility.

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