What is it like to move to a big city from a small town and what are good tips on adjusting?

Answered Jul 27, 2019

Get ready to be surprised by some mind-boggling, willfully-ignorant, small-minded attitudes.

This includes from people who have spent their entire lives in the suburbs of a major city. I know that I seem to belabour this point, but it is heavily female-biased.

Even in “the big city”, many, many women assume that, every person just lives their whole life stuck in one town. Or even just one particular suburban area.

I met people in Orange County, California, who acted like “going to LA” was a special occasion. Or that, going to any unfamiliar area inside the local area would be a disorienting, frightening experience.

There are people in big-city areas who literally don’t know how to use a street map to get to the suburbs on the other side of town. It should be a basic skill, but many actually lack it. To the point where, they are unaware that anyone has that skill.

Then, add on the psychological/social factors. Some people will actually insist that every “adult” stays in whatever town where their mother lives. With zero other factors under consideration. This is one of the female-biased points.

There is a mindset that, any kind of new environment, especially without any familiar people, would just be impossible to withstand.

Then, add on the ignorance of how different other places are. I met people in Los Angeles who couldn’t comprehend, “Smallville has very poor job prospects and mass poverty, and zero educational prospects”. Or maybe they just didn’t care, since they weren’t the one being told that they would inevitably “have to go back” to Smallville.

And, speaking of “have to go back”, you can expect to hear those words decades after you escaped Smallville, without even any visits back there. You will still be treated like you are on vacation.

There are people who simply cannot comprehend that, someone might have moved around repeatedly, long distances, as a child, and so doesn’t have a fixed “hometown”. There are people who cannot comprehend that, your Mommy’s location isn’t your personal “hometown”. Because they cannot comprehend that, anyone’s parents ever relocated.

Some women (that bias again) take the attitude that, the “right” thing to do, is to just draw a twenty-kilometre radius from your birthplace (and/or Mommy’s house), and just accept that that is your world. What is or isn’t available in that tiny world isn’t seen as relevant.

This includes “right” thing in terms of “common sense”, as if every reasonable, rational person would agree.

It also includes “right” thing in terms of morality. Which is a euphemism for dissuading you from doing anything positive with your life that someone else feels too incompetent and/or afraid to do.

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