Category: Crime

What if I date a girl who is 18, and I am 17, and there are only a few more months until I turn 18, is this illegal? If it is, what are the consequences?

Answered Mar 24

It depends.

Each country, and each state or province in the country, can have a “Legal Age Of Consent”.

If a person is over the legal “Age Of Consent” for their area, then they can legally have sex with other people over that age. If they are under the legal “Age Of Consent”, then, they will be viewed as the victim of Statutory Rape, with the older person viewed as the criminal.

Some areas set a time-difference for the two people. The difference between a 25-year-old and a 17-year-old might be viewed differently to an 18-year-old and a 17-year-old.

Different areas may have different punishments. They can be very serious, like a felony criminal record (that future employers can see), being listed on a sex offender registry (which may be public to everyone), and a year in jail.

There are also other consequences, such as to your reputation.

Also, just because something is legally acceptable, does not mean that it is a good idea. When I was very young, but over the legal consent age, I received advances from much older people (men and women) that were wrong and exploitive. These people were actually confused and offended when I rejected them.

In the situation that you describe, the police might just ignore the situation, as long as your parents don’t complain. This could be very different if it was a younger female, and an older male.

My advice:

Find out the legal “Age Of Consent” for the place where you live (i.e. your “jurisdiction”). Do not have any sexual contact before both people are at least that age. If it is only “a few more months”, then that is a short time to wait. This is especially important if one or both people are living with their parents (who might complain to the police).

Generally, a small time difference can mean a lot for young people. In your late-teens and early-20s, a few years difference can be enormous.

One year difference in age is usually very small. But, if someone else is ten years, or more, older than you, I would reject any advances, and refuse any further contact.

Waiting awhile can also give you time to get to know the other person better. It can also give you time to gain experience, and to figure yourself out. This can help you to make better decisions about whether to have sex with them or not.

tldr; Keep it in your pants until both people are over the legal age for sex.

What are some things that many people think/believe are illegal but are actually legal?

Updated Feb 25

When I was 18 years old, I moved out of my mother’s home, without asking her permission. Upon moving out, I immediately traveled a little over a thousand kilometers away (to an area with better job prospects). Men don’t care about this, but I have encountered women who perceived this as an underage child “running away”.

Legally changing your name. People do this all the time, by court petition. Reasons can include pronunciation, immigrants adapting to a new language/culture, children getting a new surname, and even just because the person felt like it. I have encountered adults who refused to believe this.

Another female-biased area is employment. I have encountered grown women who refused to believe that:

An employer can assign you to work more than eight hours in a day.

An employer can pay you on a commission or piecework basis, without any hourly rate.

An employer can monitor your productivity, and fire you if the dollar value of your work is lower than your wage.

An employer can make you redundant (laid off) because company revenue is down, stores or facilities are shut down, or for whatever reason the number of job positions has been reduced.

In an “at-will” jurisdiction, an employer can fire you for any reason, or just because they feel like it.

Some people don’t understand laws concerning freedom of speech.

Some people think it is illegal for an undercover police officer to lie when asked about his/her job, even in a life-threatening situation.

Some people fail to understand that, there are legal means for a person to permanently move from one country to another (i.e. they think immigrants are tourists).

Some people don’t understand the difference between an infraction, a criminal offense, and a civil tort.

A lot of this kind of thing just comes down to, “I’ve never heard of it, and I don’t like it, so it must be illegal”.

Should we have the right to sell sex?

Answered Dec 10, 2017

People’s answers will tend to be influenced on their personal definition of, “selling sex”.

A person who only visualises desperate street prostitution (maybe right in front of your house) by addicted, exploited women and girls will likely be very opposed.

A person who visualises prostitutes as “other” in terms of socioeconomic status, race, sexual orientation, etc., will likely have very little empathy for them.

But what is “selling sex”?

A nice, respectable, white woman presents herself as being sexually appealing, while making “financially successful” one of her basic criteria for a prospective husband or boyfriend?

A woman who uses a man’s hope that she mighthave sex (when she has zero intention of doing so), in order to keep his attention, and receive non-cash resources, like restaurant meals or rides in his car?

An attractive young gay man, living in a nice house owned by his wealthy, much older and less attractive boyfriend?

A gay woman acting like a deadbeat, refusing to work, and living off of her responsible, hard-working girlfriend?

That seemingly respectable, fading-looks middle-aged woman in the suburbs, having sex with her husband, when she doesn’t want to, long after the emotional spark has gone out? Because she wants to keep the marriage intact, solely to keep the middle-class economic status to which she is accustomed?

Deep down, the real question is, “Which types of selling sex, in what manner, by whom, are viewed as acceptable, by whom?”